What’s YOUR “1-Most-Important” Thing?

A presentation given at my home Chapter for BNI (Business Networking International) in Rochester NY.

Part of my job is helping clients clarify their vision of what needs to be done: Print, E-mail Website and Video are tactics. Answers to questions like “Where do you want to go from here?” are are needed before choosing the vehicle to get there.

Habit vs. Process

Is a habit the same as a process? A little after-hours reflection on a week-full of client conversations.


Build a little House

hugh_laurie_as_houseDealing with your inner sarcasm – I miss Hugh Laurie as “House”; brilliant – troublesome – naughty and tragically sarcastic. He said everything I want to say. Do you quietly entertain a running dialogue of the most caustic things imaginable? For those who wrestle with that nasty bit of outspokenness, consider the following:

Where did THAT come from? Saying something unpopular is not wrong. But, some things ARE better left unsaid. Extended periods of stress can lower the bar on self-awareness. I believe stress and fatigue are unavoidable and necessary components toward accomplishments. But left unchecked, can cause damaged relationships and impede trust and opportunity for future creative input. Self assess or ask a trusted advisor if its time to “take a breath”. If that “trusted” person has the audacity to tell you something you don’t like, listen.

Is that TRUE? Determine what’s true vs. opinion. Q: “Does this make me look fat?” A: “No, being able to SEE you is what makes you look fat.” That may be funny if you’re a spectator, but stating that opinion is nothing but a selfish wrecking-ball. I’m not telling you to lie, but speaking all of your opinion, all of the time, can be disastrous. We change constantly: Tired-Energetic; Hungry-Full; Lonely-Loved. These changes don’t affect constant truths (like gravity) but they DO affect opinions and our thought-life. Giving voice to all of your opinion, always, can become a selfish and hurtful lifestyle. While that makes for an entertaining movie, the life it builds can be far from comforting, in the long run.

What do you WANT to happen next? Once you’ve opened your mouth and the words are free, they cannot be caged again. Those words will roost in the thoughts and memories of those you face. Even an accepted apology for what’s heard, will not erase the damage. Words are tools of expression. Before you use those tools, consider your goal. Is your intent to create a rift or solve a recurring frustration? Does that sound manipulative? It is. But the one being manipulated first, is you. So, before pulling sarcasm out of your tool-belt, consider the life and reputation you want to construct. Then, build your house.